My inner journey is full of magic, treasures, trees, grasses, heart rocks, streams, mountains, and head in the cloud days.  My days off are spent on long trail runs where I think of myself as, “The Noticer,” after a good book I read about a man who had great insight.  I love to find the prettiest moss, or the smallest flowers.  And, I am always, always, looking for owls.  I just love them.  Everything about them, their aloofness, their calls, their magical, mystical beauty.   Every morning when I drive to work I am sure I’ll spot an owl.  It will be looking sternly at me, like it can see into my soul.  On March 23rd, 2020 I did see an owl on my way to work.  It flew right across the freeway close to my car.


March 24th:  I am in a good mood because it’s our son’s birthday, and I was listening to my Laudate APP getting ready for work.    With the message from the APP, I became very encouraged to have a positive attitude and continue to be of service as an RN.  That being said, emotions and fear are part of our lives now.  I’ve started back to my ER shifts, and have COVID-19 rule out patients, and COVID-19 positive patients.  In planning, and protecting we’ve made some changes in our home to help keep my husband protected.


March 24th continued – Sitting at 04:00 a.m., in my full length window enjoying my coffee and waffle (where I often meditate) I notice a sparkle toward the greenhouse, then another larger sparkle.  They are probably from my mosaic glass birdfeeder, but I am filled with a warm happiness.  I imagine how I’d love to see a deer in the small patch of lawn in front of me……… I finish my breakfast and lay back in a good morning yoga stretch (you lay down on your back  flat on the floor).  Then, I tell myself I need to finish getting ready for work and sit up quickly.  There in the window is a beautiful deer!  I startled it and it jumped out of view.  I sat there for a few minutes, in wonder, and happy as can be.  And then, the deer walked back into the window, she was looking at me, flicking her ears and sniffing the air.  She stayed for about 2 minutes and walked away, and another one came, that one didn’t know I was there so it just ate grass for several minutes before walking off.  I take this as a sign that although I am afraid to go to work with the COVID-19 outbreak, I will be just fine, and so will my family, and wonderful ED Team.  THANK YOU GOD.


March 25th:   Emergency Room is stressful today, not the usual stress we thrive on; a trying to keep up with policies and procedures, get your PPE on and off, and worrying about virus germs, etc. day.  Also, we are getting used to wearing a mask for 10 hours, or more.  It has an effect on how we feel as we increase our CO2 tolerance.


I was exhausted and feeling down as I walked out to my car.  When I started putting my bags into my car I heard the sound of wings from a large bird.  I looked up and saw a crow flying close to me on a radius toward me, then out.  I have always loved the sound of wings in flight.  Hmmm, I thought, that was nice, and went back to organizing my things, standing in the doorway of my car, head down….  I heard the wings again, behind me this time.  I looked, again the crow, flying close to me, then away.  The third time they drew my attention, there were two crows, and they landed on a light pole just behind my car.  As I slowly walked around the back of my car, I just stared at them, and they at me…..


…beautifully, spiritually, chasing a life of wonder and magic like Snow White.  Dreaming I can hold birds on my fingers and get exceptionally close to the animals.  My head is in the clouds on my trail runs, I look for owls, treasures, small flowers…..



Instructions for Laudate APP that I enjoy: tap daily readings & saints at the very top; all podcasts together;  there are two readings, sometimes you have to tap the small arrow twice.


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